


Under the Brightly Lit Sky

by LadyCosmos



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2278206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCosmos/pseuds/LadyCosmos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto and Haru finally discuss their future under the festival fireworks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Brightly Lit Sky

Fireworks lit the night sky, illuminating everything in shades of blue, gold, purple. Makoto smiled nostalgically as he watched each shell burst to life, for once glad that the clap of explosion drowned out his thoughts. Beside him, he could feel Haru thrumming with uncertainty. It was strange to not know what Haru was thinking anymore. Makoto wondered if that was just part of growing up or if it was his fault.

As each firework flared to life and died, falling to earth, Makoto turned to study his friend. Haru who had filled a space by his side for years. Or maybe he had created a space by Makoto. He wasn’t sure which one came first or if it even mattered at this point. Haru had become a fixture in his life; filling a place that Makoto could now physically feel next to him.

He thought about how empty his life would feel without Haru beside him; about how big and scary the world would be without the comfort of Haru’s t-shirt between his fingers. He thought about how different the water would feel. He thought about Haru facing the world without him; about Haru changing without him.

Would he still mean anything to Haru if they left each other’s sides? Would Haru find someone to fill the Makoto-shaped hole in his life? Did Makoto want to let someone in as close as Haru again?

Haru’s eyes flicked in his direction for a brief moment and Makoto could read his annoyance so easily. It made his heart heavy.

“Hey, Haru.” He could almost feel the way Haru’s ears perked up. With a soft smile, Makoto tilted his head back to watch the fireworks illuminate the night sky. “This will be our last time swimming together, won’t it?”

A red and gold flower lit the sky, brightening the world with a glittering fire.

Makoto could feel Haru tense, his grip tightening on the fence. Running his hand along the metal, Makoto fought back the instinct to reach for his friend.

“Everything ends after nationals.”

“Makoto.” Haru sounded uncertain, almost scared, and it made Makoto want to cry.

“It’s been hard, thinking about my future. All I can think about is how I don’t want this to end. I want to keep swimming with Haru, because it’s meaningless without you. Swimming isn’t the same without Haru.” Taking a deep breath, Makoto turned and smiled softly at his friend. “But I can’t follow Haru anymore.”

He noticed the way Haru’s breath caught; the way Haru’s hair and eyes reflected the blue and purple light, making it appear as if he were under water. Haru was always beautiful, in an out of the water. It hurt to look at him.

Chest clenching painfully, Makoto gripped the fence for stability.

“Makoto.” Although his name was whispered, it felt as if Haru were screaming. “What do you mean, Makoto? Why can’t you follow me?”

“Haru’s always swum so beautifully. You’ve always been the best in the water. And I wanted to share that with you. I wanted to share your love for the water. I always wanted to swim with you. But I’m different than you. And Rin. I don’t have the ability to follow you anymore.”

The words stuck in his throat like mud. His mouth felt thick and dry; his chest felt heavy. The wide-eyed look Haru was giving him made his stomach twist painfully. The fireworks suddenly sounded very quiet as the blood roared through his ears. He wanted everything to stop. He wanted the world to pause for just a moment so he could take in everything at once instead of feeling bombarded. The sounds of the explosions, the bright flashes of the fireworks, the warmth of the metal beneath his skin, the feeling of Haru tightening and tensing like a coiled spring ready to release at any moment. It was all too much and Makoto just wanted it to stop.

Suddenly, Haru was right in front of him. Everyone acts like there’s only one path for me; one decision!” Makoto couldn’t breathe as the fireworks reflected in Haru’s eyes, making them shine more brightly than ever. His heart stopped beating and his skin prickled. Haru looked so alive.

“Why do you think I want that? Why do you think you can’t follow? You say it’s meaningless without me but don’t understand there’s nothing without you!”

The crowds cheered as a group of fireworks exploded. Caught by surprise, Makoto turned to watch them, feeling as if their brightness was dulled when compared to Haru.

The world stopped for a few heartbeats; time standing still as Makoto tried to grasp what Haru was telling him. It was strange to think that maybe, just maybe, Haru felt the same as he did. That Haru had a Makoto-sized space next to him that he was desperately scared of losing. Taking a deep, calming breath, Makoto let himself believe and his heart soared.

But just as quickly, he came crashing back to earth as Haru pushed past him. He could feel Haru’s breathing quicken, his heart beating rapidly as his pupils dilated. Makoto reached out to stop him.

“Haru.” His voice creaked, catching on a lump in his throat. Haru neatly side-stepped his reach, spinning around and grabbing Makoto’s shirt in his fists. “Haru.”

“You don’t understand. Why don’t you understand? You always understand me.” It was almost an accusation, Haru’s eyes cast to the side his hands trembled. Frustrated, Makoto grabbed Haru’s wrist, twisting it more harshly than he wanted.

“What don’t I understand? You haven’t told us anything. You haven’t told me anything. How am I supposed to understand when you don’t tell me?!” He was desperate and hurt. He wanted to understand; to believe he knew Haru better than anyone else. But there were things Makoto couldn’t know because Haru had his own secrets.

Haru’s hand twisted in his grip for a moment before giving up. He stood defeated before Makoto. It was heart breaking to see Haru look so lost and afraid. Makoto’s grip tightened reflexively.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Haru murmured, eyes downcast. A firework burst overhead as Makoto dropped Haru’s hand, mouth opening in awe. It was as if his entire world focused with pinpoint accuracy on Haru’s words before exploding open and overwhelming him. All he could do was stare at Haru as if seeing him for the first time.

“Ha-Haru.” Makoto stuttered, his face softening. Haru looked so vulnerable and Makoto couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and pulling Haru towards him, into his arms.

For the first time ever, Makoto let himself indulge in his own desires and wants and wrapped his arms around his best friend.

It was shocking how well Haru fit in his arms; the way Haru’s head dipped to rest on his chest and fit just beneath his chin; the way his shoulders curled just right to fit between Makoto’s arms. It felt wonderful to have Haru relax against him, his arms wrapping around Makoto’s waist to hold him closer. The fireworks continued to burst overhead, sending little shocks of electricity through Makoto’s body with each bloom of light. Or maybe it wasn’t the fireworks.

Raising a hand to rub the back of Haru’s neck, Makoto leaned down to rest his forehead on Haru’s hair.

“Me too, Haru.” Makoto whispered. Haru tensed, his heart beating frantically against Makoto’s chest. Or was it both of their hearts beating? Makoto couldn’t tell where he ended and Haru began. “I’m scared of losing you, too.”

“Then don’t.” The words were muffled in his shirt but Makoto could feel them burn into his skin. “Don’t lose me. Don’t leave me.”

“Haru.” Makoto felt so broken. What was he supposed to do when Haru asked things like that so openly? “What if I can’t follow? What if our dreams are different?”

Haru’s fingers dug into his side bringing a twinge of pain. Pulling away, Makoto gently lifted Haru’s face. The ground shifted beneath him as he felt Haru’s gaze on him. It felt as if his heart was being read completely.

“I’d come back for you.” Surprised, Makoto let his hand hang in the air for a moment. When Haru leaned into his hand, Makoto had to bite his lip. “If you can’t follow me or if our paths aren’t the same. I’ll come back for you. Always”

Releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding, Makoto smiled warmly, softly rubbing his thumb over Haru’s cheek. The falling fireworks glittered and sparkled in Haru’s eyes making Makoto’s heart burst with love.

“Me, too. I’ll always be there for Haru.” A small, soft smile graced Haru’s lips and without thinking, Makoto bent to capture it with his lips. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize. This fic isn't as good as it could have been but it's very difficult to write something nuanced and what the PV deserves in such a short time. This is based off Ep 11 PV and sort of what I hope happens. Well, I know the kiss won't but I can always wish.
> 
> Comments and critiques are always welcome.


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